Friday, December 16, 2005

House of Reps Win the War on Christmas

Last night I was watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann, enjoying his nicely dry snark, when I found myself suprised, yet again, by stupidity in Congress. Keith reported on a resolution which had been debated in the House: HR 579, "Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives that the symbols and traditions of Christmas should be protected."

Because, heaven knows, this is something that needs to be legislated by Congress. There is absolutely nothing else going on in this country that needs the House's attention more than the protection of Christmas.

Worse yet? The House legitimized this bullshit resolution by debating it on the floor for forty minutes and then passing it, overwhelmingly, with a vote of 401 - 22.

But wait, there's more! When Democratic leaders asked that Hanukkah be included in the language of the resolution, the brain trust that authored HR 579 - one Jo Ann Davis of Virginia - said, "Nuh uh. And you can't make me!" Or words to that effect.

Why am I even surprised any more?

Thank heavens one Democratic representative stepped up to the plate and expressed the proper distain for 579. What's more, John D. Dingell of Michigan did so in a poem:
'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the House,
no bills were passed `bout which Fox News could grouse.
Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,
so vacations in St. Barts soon should be near.

Katrina kids were all nestled snug in motel beds,
while visions of school and home danced in their heads.
In Iraq, our soldiers need supplies and a plan,
and nuclear weapons are being built in Iran.

Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell.
Americans feared we were in a fast track to ..... well.
Wait, we need a distraction, something divisive and wily,
a fabrication straight from the mouth of O'Reilly.

We will pretend Christmas is under attack,
hold a vote to save it, then pat ourselves on the back.
Silent Night, First Noel, Away in the Manger,
Wake up Congress, they're in no danger.

This time of year, we see Christmas everywhere we go,
From churches to homes to schools and, yes, even Costco.
What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy
when this is the season to unite us with joy.

At Christmastime, we're taught to unite.
We don't need a made-up reason to fight.
So on O'Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter and those right-wing blogs.
You should sit back and relax, have a few egg nogs.

'Tis the holiday season; enjoy it a pinch.
With all our real problems, do we really need another Grinch?
So to my friends and my colleagues, I say with delight,
a Merry Christmas to all, and to Bill O'Reilly, happy holidays.
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas."


A Christian Prophet said...

It seems that Christmas is only the last straw, but the Holy Spirit's message on The Christian Prophet blog today goes into reasons why public schools are a problem.

Bryon Rogers said...

Hey thanks for this post; I wouldn't have picked this up on the news.