Thursday, July 12, 2007

We Have Nothing To Fear...

...except for whatever's rumbling in Michael Chertoff's gut.

Apparently Chertoff ate some really bad calamari, because he's saying that he has a "gut feeling" about possible terrorist attacks within the US:
He based his assessment on earlier patterns of terrorists in Europe and intelligence he would not disclose.

"Summertime seems to be appealing to them," Chertoff said in his discussion with [The Chicago Tribune] about terrorists. "We worry that they are rebuilding their activities."
Can't say that's surprising. There's something about a beautiful hot summer day that inspires feelings of suicidal and murderous hatred of the Western Capitalist Dogs in all of us.

And that's not the only thing to fear, my friends. Anonymous government sources have informed the media that an Al Qaeda cell might be on its way to the US or may already be here!

(Execpt. According to Global, the United States is most likely already home to autonomous underground al Qaeda cells. So the possibility of a "new" cell on its way to terrorize us all is ludicrous.)

Then again, perhaps we've nothing to fear after all. The FBI is building a new database and mining data on Americans in an effort "to assess the risk posed by people identified as potential or suspected terrorists." So we should be fine, right? It's not as if the FBI would abuse it or force people to keep quiet through National Security Letters, would it? And if it did and the Attorney General was told about it, he wouldn't lie about it, would he?

Hmmm, maybe we have something to fear after all. And it ain't Al Qaeda.

Damn that bad calamari...

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